Health Insurance

I went to the doctor’s office this past week. This was my first visit since my diabetic prognosis reared it’s ugly (half-millennium glucose mark) around 7 weeks ago. The disease is calming down. The Doc was impressed, though he wants to see me lose more weight. It seems extra exercise is in order. Perhaps a gym membership.

I spoke to my sister Liz today. I asked her if she thought insurance would cover a health club membership. “They are not going to cover that.” She said. “People who are obese go to the doctor all the time. If Insurance paid for that, everyone who was obese would be covered.”

I said, “I’m not so sure. I have a medical condition. I have a disease. A health club membership would immensely help my glucose levels.”

“Well,” she said, “Good luck with that.”

I then called my health insurance company to discuss coverage for a health club membership. As my sister had prophesied, they do not have these benefits. I am not surprised, but I am incredulous: “You will cover drugs which cost more than a health-club membership, but you won’t cover a membership to a health club?”

“No we don’t cover that.” she said.

I said, “You will cover me if I am hospitalized, and I need an operation. You cover hospital stays… but you won’t cover the cost of a membership to a health club which would prevent these other costs?”

“That is right.” She said.

About 10 years ago a huge branch from the only tree on my (in-town) property fell onto my yard. I called my insurance company. They told me they would come and take the branch away, and repair the damage caused by the fallen branch. I told them that the tree was rotten and needed to come down. “We don’t take down trees which are standing,” they said, “only the branches which fall.”

“I don’t know if termites or carpenter ants have been inhabiting this tree for many years, but it’s completely rotten. It is hollow inside. This is a big tree.” I said.

“We don’t get rid of trees, sir.” They said.

“Okay,” I said, “let me give you a little background: This tree abuts my garage. The eaves of my garage – and my next-door neighbor’s garage – overhang each other. If the tree falls, it will take out my garage, and the neighbors garage. The neighbors had a fire a few years back, so their house has been totally re-done. So it is possible this tree will take out both garages and break into the brand-new house next door. Or, perhaps it will bounce off the new house and land on my other neighbor’s house. It doesn’t matter to me, though. I am just letting you know, because you are the ones who will be paying for it.”

They came out, took a look, and had the tree removed.

I spoke their language! But when it comes to health insurance, the language isn’t about health, at all! If dental insurance allowed 4 cleanings a year, they would be paying a lot less in fillings. That is dental health, but it is not a language insurance agencies speak. I feel sorry to these poor workers who have to deal with me on the phone, I really do. They have no answers and no authority. They only have the ability to regurgitate policy. Before I called, they probably hadn’t even considered whether or not it made any sense. Apparently, I am the only one who has noticed the snake eating it’s own tail. I said to the agent:

“You will cover drugs, but you won’t cover the activities which would alleviate the need for drugs. You will cover sickness, but you won’t cover health.”

“If you want to put it that way.” She said.

“It doesn’t matter how I phrase it. That is the way it is.” I said. (The rest is just semantics.)

Tonight I rode my bike for 45 minutes. My blood sugar dropped to 105.

Can I get a witness?